Marriage has quite a few supertastic perks. Some of them we were expecting, some have been a surprise. I knew and was anticipating that marriage would be a team sport. Now, to let you in on a little secret, I haven't always been the best team player. I'm competitive, stubborn, and while I hate to admit it, sometimes I'm a really sore loser. Oh, by the way, this is Karissa, but I'm sure you gathered that after the last sentence. ;) Anyways, after trying to play team sports as a child, I quickly learned that it gave me far too much anxiety. It stressed me out to have to rely on my team members. I would get angry if somebody messed up something that I couldn't control. I hated the pressure to perform well for my team. That's why I loved Tae Kwon Do so much. 1. It's just fun to kick the crap out of someone every once in a while. 2. I didn't have to rely on anybody else. It was up to me to perfect my forms. It was up to me to block punches. It was up to me to kick targets. It was great! If I lost then I could just blame myself, if I won then I knew that I had earned it.
As I was going into marriage I was fully aware that I needed to rely on Jake and that Jake would have to rely on me. I couldn't just fight for myself. I had a teammate. Now, this shouldn't seem like such a big deal because technically Jake and I have always been on a "team." Thinking back to the seven years that we dated, there were countless amounts of times when we had to rely on each other, but somehow this was different. Nobody could get traded. No matter what situation we found ourselves in, the ball needed to be passed. There would be no MVP's. Now, for a girl who thought she wasn't a team player, this thought was a little intimidating. It's not that I didn't trust Jake to be my partner, not even for a moment. I simply thought it would be a more difficult transition than it actually was.
While I realize that it will take a bit more practice (and by a bit I mean a lifetime's worth), it turns out I love team sports! Well, maybe just partner sports. Well, actually, maybe just marriage.
Here's the thing, these first eight months we have spent being husband and wife have been blessed beyond measure. Every thing we stressed about while we were engaged has worked out beautifully, and I truly have nothing to complain about (except that our landlord doesn't allow pets....). However, since life obviously isn't perfect, a few curve balls have been thrown our way. It is in those moments that a. having a partner and b. having God in the center of that partnership is the most comforting and freeing feeling.
A couple of nights ago I re-realized how very blessed I am to have a team mate for life. Now, I don't get mad too easily. Annoyed, yes. Truly mad, no. Well, the other night I was mad. I wasn't mad at Jake, but I was mad at people. I didn't want anything to do with anybody. I felt like everybody was fake, or rude, or manipulative, or immature. I literally just sat on the couch and cried like some weird, pathetic, frustrated, freak. I didn't rationalize. I didn't seek God. I just froze. Then Jake came home, the one human who I still wanted to talk to at the moment. I told him everything that had been making me so angry. Looking back on it all, I'm pretty sure it was about a 50/50 mixture of people being fake, rude, manipulative, and immature and me just being emotional. But anyways, Jake could have easily laughed at me for my Kim Kardashian cry face. He could have listened, said something generic, and then moved on to his own things. He could have even just told me I was being dumb. Instead he sat, listened, understood, and gave me solid, rational, and godly advice. He knows he's on my team. He understands that when I'm strong, we're strong. He is on my side. My battles are his and his are mine. It's nice. We can talk together, pray together, and fight together.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But, how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. -Eccesiastes 4:9-12
So here's to being a good team player. To our spouses, family, best friends, co-workers, and children. The world could use a few less ball hogs. :)
yay a blog, I was going to write you off when you wrote that last blog post. But you surprised us with some Karissa wisdom. You are making a good start at a married life. keep it up.
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