Happy Birthday, Gatsby!

Happy 1st birthday to the most silly, sweet, naughty, hungry, playful, cuddly, talkative, loyal, hilarious, human-like puppy around. He has brought so much joy (and frustration) to our little family, and we can't picture life before or without him. We love his countless quirks, like how he sits on the perch of the couch like a cat, and how he swims in December. How he has no boundaries when trying to get comfortable, and how he has to lick somebody's legs after every time he gets a drink of water. How he can't hear the word 'hungry' without running to his food bowl, and how we are fairly certain he is a dwarf. I know that in six short weeks we will have a real baby to love, and kiss, and cuddle, but Gatsby will always be our little guy, our first baby, and the best big brother Brielle could ever have.

33 weeks

Before Saturday's shower. Exactly 33 weeks. 

How far along? 33 weeks!  

Baby is the size of: A pineapple!  

Total weight gain: 33 lbs.... Holy crap people. My doctor is totes down with it since I was underweight pre-pregnancy, but it's a little discouraging when all the baby books say you should gain 26 lbs YOUR ENTIRE PREGNANCY. Yeah right.  
Maternity clothes? All day, every day.      
Stretch marks?   Nope! The other night Jake and I swear we saw some light ones starting, but that night I rubbed on that bio-oil and in the morning they were nowhere in sight. So I'm not sure if we are just delusional, or if bio-oil is really worth the money.  
Sleep: Not too hot this past week. My snoogle pillow case is dirty and has been sitting in the dirty clothes. I can't believe how pathetic my sleep is without that stupid pillow.  
Best moment this week: My baby shower. I will definitely try to post some pictures once they are loaded onto my computer, but everything was beautiful and so fun. The theme was Baby It's Cold Outside, and the whole room was filled with pink and gold glitter, pine cones, snowflakes, and candles. We had yummy soups, sandwiches, fruits, and veggies, hot cider, and my personal fav: hot chocolate with way too many marshmallows. It was so nice to be with my favorite ladies honoring my little lady. And oh my goodness, that little lady got a lot of BIG gifts. I can't believe we get to do it all again at our next shower in two weeks! 
Miss Anything? Costco hotdogs.      
Movement: Always. Baby girl must be sensitive to something I'm eating or drinking because she gets hiccups alllll the time. She has also been punching my bladder several times a day. It's always when I'm standing up, and every time I am convinced I am going to pee my pants or she is going to break my water. The past few times I've been to the doctor she has been head down, so I'm praying her movements don't get too wild and she stays semi put :)   
Food cravings: Fruit is in full force still. I swear I'm going to OD on Vitamin C with all the Cuties I eat. Also pineapple and Canadian bacon pizza covered with jalepenos and dipped in ranch. I could eat that for every meal.   
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nada.  
Gender: She better still be a girl or I have a lot of headbands, tutus, and general pinkness to return.   
Labor Signs: I'm pretty sure I've been getting Braxton Hicks recently. It doesn't hurt, but I can feel my whole tummy tightening. 
Symptoms: I literally can't do anything even moderately active and maintain normal breathing. It's so embarrassing. Also, I've noticed I'm getting fuller faster, which is seriously the most depressing thing in the world. 
Belly Button in or out? It's more of a belly slit than a button. 
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! A little stressed, but trying to stay focused on how blessed we are and how precious this time is. 
Looking forward to: Maternity pictures this weekend! And our co-ed shower the weekend after that. So many fun times to look forward to!  

31 weeks

Sorry about the shadows. 

How far along? 31 weeks 

Baby is the size of: A head of lettuce? These comparisons are whack. Apparently she is around 18 inches and 3.2 lbs.   

Total weight gain: 26 lbs. whoa mama.  
Maternity clothes? Yup! Most of my non maternity tops come up above my belly button. Thank God for bagging cardigans and scarfs to spice up my limited options these days.        
Stretch marks?   Still none! It's a bit shocking. I really feel like I'm going to get them though. My skin itches constantly. But maybe Bio-oil is as miraculous as everyone claims.  
Sleep: Ok. Not great, but not horrible. I slept the other night without my Snoogle,  and was MISERABLE and woke up with the sorest hips. It made me so thankful I decided to buy it early on. If you're pregnant, GET ONE! 
Best moment this week: Christmas! I didn't mention anything in the last post because I didn't want to jinx anything, but we bought a house! We closed escrow on Nov 30th, but didn't move in until December 9th. Moving while your 7th months pregnant isn't the most ideal situation, but we are so thankful to own a place of our own. However,  Christmas was a bit on the back burner this year. Even so, it is always great to watch Home Alone and spend time with family. :) We also went to a 4d ultrasound last weekend and got another sneak peak of Brielle. She is so precious and so funny. Definitely caught her with a finger in her nose that immediately went into her mouth. It was hilarious. Also had a doctor appointment on Thursday. It is so crazy being on an every 2 week schedule now. She will be here so soon! Everything looked great, and the NP said I have a perfect pregnancy. Feeling so blessed! I hope it stays like that for the next 9 weeks. 
Miss Anything? Not really. I really really love being pregnant. I've had it SO easy. 
Movement: Always. You can definitely tell she is running out of room though. Not as many somersaults, just a lot of wiggling around and small jabs.     
Food cravings: Still pizza. And chocolate, which is so weird to me. I was never a chocolate girl. OMG! And Cuties. I almost forgot. I go through a bag in like 2 days. Addicted!   
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!    
Gender: A little lady!    
Labor Signs: Nope! I don't think I've even had any Braxton Hicks yet. I read that they can be painless, so I don't know if I'm just missing them or not, but I feel completely normal.  
Symptoms: A little bit of heartburn every now and again. I still pretend it isn't happening and eat whatever I want. Also some shortness of breath. It's embarrassing. 
Belly Button in or out? Still hanging in there, but looking weirder every day.   
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! 
Looking forward to: Enjoying the rest of our vacation. Making our house a home. Finishing the nursery. My/Our baby showers. Bringing home a BABY! 

26 weeks

Sorry the picture looks funny. Stupid time change requires a flash. 

How far along? 26 weeks 

Baby is the size of: A cucumber. She is 15 inches and 2 whole pounds!! 

Total weight gain: 20 lbs!! Yikes. That number sounds so intimidating, even though it's all located from my collar bones to my hip bones :) 
Maternity clothes? Went to Motherhood a couple weekends ago. Got a new bra in my new size. Thank God! It has long overdue and completely changed my life. Also took advantage of their buy three get one free sale on tops. So many cute things for big bellied women these days! Obsessed!        
Stretch marks?   Not yet. I feel like they could appear any minute though. My skin is literally always greasy from the butters I'm rubbing on.  
Sleep: BLAH! Not great lately. Gatsby is suddenly the most clingy animal ever, and constantly trying to get underneath our blankets and in between me and my boyfriend (the snoogle). I have a super terrible knot in my back that has been keeping me up too. Not the business.    
Best moment this week: THANKSGIVING! What's better than overeating and seeing all your loved ones?! NOTHING! Our district gives the entire week off for Thanksgiving, so that was an added bonus. 
Miss Anything? Nothing new.       
Movement: Oh, yes. Every time we go to the doctor, they make a comment about how much she moves, which intimidates me. Like, they see A LOT of babies. The fact that they are impressed with her energy makes me convinced we have a hyper little girl on our hands.     
Food cravings: My mom's homemade stuffing. Thanksgiving went too fast :(   
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!    
Gender: A little lady!    
Labor Signs: No, obvi. 
Symptoms: Backache and a littttttttttle bit of heartburn, but I am in total denial and still load jalepenos on everything possible.   
Belly Button in or out? neither. haha it's flat as a pancake. So creepy.  
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! 
Looking forward to: Once on this Island! I choreographed the play and Jake is an assistant director, so we are both so so so excited to watch the kids perform starting this week! Come see the show! 

22 weeks

How far along? 22  

Baby is the size of: Papaya! Broke the 1 pound mark this week. Big girl! :) 

Total weight gain: Probably 14...or 15 if I factor in all the Halloween candy I consumed last night.   
Maternity clothes? Oh yah. Nothing new though. I need to make a trip to stock up soon.       
Stretch marks?   Nope, but my belly has been so stinkin itchy lately. Yikes.  
Sleep: Pretty well! The cold(er) weather and our snuggly bed is making it harder and harder to wake up in the morning.   
Best moment this week: Halloween candy? haha I've never consumed that much in my life. I just literally couldn't stop. It was also fun painting the bump! Costumes are mine and Jake's thing, but we have about 2,000 other things going on this year and got lazy and decided not to dress up. BUUTTT I just couldn't NOT do sommeeetttthing festive. 
Miss Anything? Being able to breathe while walking up stairs. So embarrassing to wheeze my way up in front of a mob of high school students.      
Movement: All the time. We are feeling (and seeing) more and more flips and wiggles instead of just kicks and punches. I love it so much.     
Food cravings: CANDY! and In n Out. My sweet husband was going to drive me 20 minutes to get it the other night, but then got sick and couldn't. I've been thinking about it ever since.  
Anything making you queasy or sick: Besides too much candy? Nope!   
Gender: A little lady!    
Labor Signs: No, obvi. 
Symptoms: Headaches! And the round ligament pain is back.  
Belly Button in or out? in, but omg it's getting shallow lol 
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! 
Looking forward to: THANKSGIVING!!! Guys, it's bad. I literally sit and think about Thanksgiving dinner every.single.day!  Plus I get to wear pants that expand with me! Score. 

Back Home

     I have the day off today, so earlier this morning I was in the bathroom leisurely putting on my makeup and listening to iTunes. I hate getting ready more than anything, but on days like today I am at peace and calm. I like taking my time, and sipping on tea, and scratching Gatsby's belly with my toes as he lays at my feet. I was applying mascara of all things when Back Home by JJ Heller started to play.  I froze, the mascara wand still in my hand, and immediately began to cry. Now, I am pregnant, and could definitely use that as an excuse for my uncontrollable emotions, but that wasn't the cause this time.
     As JJ sang the first line of that beautiful song, my head and heart were transported back to a moment I don't think I will ever forget. It was 3 1/2 months ago, and Jake and I were in the car on our way to San Diego. A week earlier we had been told that I had miscarried the baby we were so excited to bring into the world. A week earlier I received a D&C. That horrible, horrible week had been filled with tears, anger, confusion, and emptiness. I felt so drained and pitiful, and was beyond ready to get away for the week and spend some quality time with my husband. It was a long trip, and neither of us felt much like talking, so the previous 2 hours of driving down I-5 had been spent listening to our favorites: Coldplay, Phil Wickham, and then JJ Heller. I had listened to her Painted Red album often, but as soon as track 4 began to play, I felt like all of the oxygen had been sucked out of my body. I continued to sit silently, listening to each word, with tears literally streaming down my face. My sunglasses were on and I tried so hard not to let Jake see my reaction. The week had been equally hard for both of us, and I didn't want him to have to deal with one more of my emotional break downs. Either I wasn't doing a good enough job, or he instinctively knew, but as soon as she started singing the chorus, he grabbed my hand. It was all too much. The sadness, the guitar, the beautiful words that spoke directly to my broken heart, the love of my husband, the love of my God.
     I gave in to the lump in my throat, and really cried, not worrying about what the woman in the next car thought of me. I finally accepted it all. Yes, this was a bad time in our lives. No, we don't know why it happened. Yes, I was perplexed. No, I was not in despair. Yes, I was struck down. No, I was not destroyed. I accepted the song's message. I would not get used to sadness. I would put my hope in what is true. My God did not leave me. He loved me. He was carrying me. He wanted me back home.
     As we continued to drive, I had no idea that in three days I would be sitting in an ER, 5 hours away from home, finding out that our precious baby had been protected by God and was alive with a heartbeat inside of my womb. I had absolutely no idea just how bright the sun would be shining on me.
     So this morning, with my growing belly pressed up against the bathroom counter, as I thoughtlessly applied my mascara, that beautiful song had a whole new meaning. God's promises are true. They are real, and meaningful, and amazingly fulfilling. Even if our trip to San Diego had not ended up the way it had, I would have been ok. I would have been healing, and maybe even pregnant again at this point. But that's not the plan God had for me or our precious daughter Brielle. I would have known no different, but now instead, I am fully aware of the overwhelming power of God and his promises. Whatever may come, and however the wind may blow, I know more than ever how faithful the Son is.

20 weeks.

I'm not fully sideways in this one, but you get the idea...the belly is bigger lol

How far along? 20 and a half!.....actually 2 days shy of 21. I'm horrible at this.  

Baby is the size of: A small cantaloupe. Holy crap. 

Total weight gain: I'm estimating 12. I really need a scale though.  
Maternity clothes? A couple of new maternity shirts, and I bought some more non maternity cardigans yesterday (like I needed any) that will hopefully make my few maternity clothes go farther.      
Stretch marks?   Negative. I'm still rubbing on that cream, though! 
Sleep: Pretty well! The freaky pregnancy dreams are creeping their way back, though.  
Best moment this week: It was actually last week, but hearing that our anomaly scan came back perfectly! Baby girl is healthy as can be and growing right on track. My doctor referred me out to get one done since I am still being called high risk because of everything that happened in the early pregnancy. I was anxious to get the results back, so it was a huge relief to hear that everything looks great. 
Miss Anything? Nope. I got some non raw sushi yesterday, and that satisfied my craving. I am still looking forward to some nice raw stuff post pregnancy, but it did the trick for now :)     
Movement: Omg yes. Alllllll the time. Almost everybody has been able to feel her at this point. Wild girl.    
Food cravings: Can't think of anything new or specific. Pretty much everything sounds good haha  
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope! I had a super easy first trimester, but even I can appreciate how easy the second is.   
Gender: Confirmed she is still a girl at the scan lol   
Labor Signs: No, obvi. 
Symptoms: My skin is still being a brat, but nothing much. I truly love being pregnant so far. Even if it is requiring a little extra concealer. 
Belly Button in or out? in, but omg it's getting shallow lol 
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Pretty happy. We have had a very exciting week. Everything seems to be falling into place. All of this, plus the weather change and some fun quality time together has made Jakey and I pretty happy recently. 
Looking forward to: Our appointment on Thursday. Since my insurance covers it, my doctor is going to do another ultrasound then. I love getting to see our sweet girl this often.