word vomit.

when you're 39 weeks 4 days pregnant and annoyed beyond belief because of 2.5 days of false labor, you're allowed to say whatever you want, right? cool. here i go.

false labor is dumb.
i haven't complained much at all during these past 9 months, so please don't judge me today.
if you see me in the store please don't say, "no baby yet?" let my giant mid-section be your first clue.
you may ask me how i'm doing though. that's very sweet of you.
don't tell me i'm probably going to go past my due date. i already know that. i've read the books, people.
and on that topic, just because i've never birthed a child before doesn't mean i'm an idiot.
my emphasis in college was child and family studies.
i've been fascinated with pregnancy and babies my entire life.
i've spent the past 9 months investigating and learning everything i can about pregnancy and child birth.
i appreciate advice, but not if you're rude or i haven't asked for it.
and especially not if you've never been pregnant before or haven't been pregnant in 40 years.
so let me warm up my deli meat in peace.
the whole "get your rest now" theory is bogus.
unfortunately sleep doesn't come in roll over minutes.
i know that i'm going to be sleepless when she's here, but i'm awake all night as it is. i'd much rather be losing sleep because i'm taking care of my sweet girl, not because i have to pee, my sciatic nerve is literally a pain in the butt, or because my brain just won't shut off.

these last 9 months have been the best of my life, but i am beyond ready to move on to the new bests.

and vent over.

sorry for being a brat.

he's just a freaking dog.

but he's not.

the other night jake and i were snuggled on the couch with our sweet chocolate boy plopped right in the middle. for a couple months now we have been teasing Gatsby about how he better soak up his time. (see. i'm already being a freak. teasing him. like he understands.)

but anyways, on this particular night i must have had some extra hormones zipping through my body because when jake made a comment to Gats about having two more weeks as our baby, i started to cry. real tears, people. so dumb. that's when i realized it.

"jake. how the heck are we going to have another baby after Brielle?"

it's no secret that jake and i want babies, lots of them. our plan has been to have them close together. i want them to be buddies, and i figure i might as well keep changing diapers while i'm used to changing diapers. but there i was crying because i felt guilty...over a dog.

but he's just so sweet and silly. i know it sounds ridiculous, but he has made our life so so full. we could barely go an hour in hawaii without making a comment about how we wished he was there. last monday we were out of town for an appointment, and halfway home we had a legitimate discussion about how we couldn't wait to see him and rub his little belly. it's insane. we are insane.

so now i'm on the couch, with Gatsby's head on his favorite spot, my belly, trying to soak up these last days of giving my boy my full attention. i know that once she is here my priorities will shift. i most likely won't cry guilty tears about replacing a dog. and i know that Gatsby probably won't care too much either. as long as he has a full tummy and gets to sleep under the covers, he is pretty happy.

we just love that goofy boy. i hope he remembers that at least on February 22, 2012 at 11:38am, he was so much more than just a dog.

eight.

eight days until B's due date. 8. that's all. almost exactly eight months ago i took a test that changed our lives forever.

it's been a heck of a ride. this pregnancy has been the biggest blessing. hardly any sickness. limited mood swings (though jake might have a different perspective). besides all that craziness at the beginning, everything has been pretty textbook.

even now, while i am more than ready to have this sweet girl in my arms, i feel far from miserable. so here i sit, nearly 39 weeks pregnant. i'm in the final stretch.

i couldn't be more excited.

i am so anxious to kiss her lips, to squeeze her thighs, to dress her in all the ridiculously adorable clothes hanging in her closet. i can't wait to teach her to dance, to braid her hair, to make her giggle. i'm just eager to love her. to watch her dad love her. to watch God love her. she is already so loved, so blessed, so precious.

Maternity Photos

Immediately after we found out I was pregnant, I started dreaming up what I wanted our maternity pictures to look like. Documenting our life via photography is something that's super important to Jake and I. We definitely wanted evidence of the bump, and we definitely wanted them to be unique, fun, and something we would be proud to hang in the house for years to come. Initially I wanted them to be taken in the snow, but after considering how limited my outfits would be and how frizzy my hair would get, I quickly began to rethink my vision. We finally decided that we wanted some to portray who we really are: dummies who don't wear fancy clothes and just laugh with our eyes squinted and our mouths open wide, and some to portray who we wish we were: glammed up celebrities and a bohemian princess. Lucky for me, one of my very best friends, Becky Davis, is an incredible photographer, understood my vision, and was excited to take on the challenge. We could not be happier with the result. Last month, when I was exactly 34 weeks pregnant, Beck and her husband Eric (another of our best friends) spent the ENTIRE day with us in Cambria working on the shoot. They didn't even complain when I had to make special trips to the bathroom and demanded Main Street Grill :) It was so fun to enjoy quality time with them and to get amazing photos while we were at it. Here are some of our favorites. 

Every Pregnant Girl Needs A Jake Yeager

My husband is the best. I mean, I know (hope) every woman thinks that, but I feel a little extra blessed. I get nightly foot massages, and on more than one occasion he has fallen asleep rubbing my back. I catch him on the kid's section of Pinterest, and he spent far too much time analyzing what shade of pink her nursery should be. He raced the strollers around the isles of Buy Buy Baby, turning sharp corners way faster than necessary to make sure we picked the safest and smoothest ride. He monitors my daily caffeine intake, won't let me lift anything heavier than 10 pounds, and never judges me when I ask for Pineapple and Canadian Bacon pizza every night for dinner. He always makes sure to tell me that I'm tough, and a trooper, and that I look beautiful. He has yet to grow tired of feeling the creepy alien movements inside of my tummy, and every day before he leaves to work, he makes sure to tell me, Gatsby, and Brielle goodbye. I was humbled today when I came home from being at a party for a few hours. The floor was mopped, the dishes were put away, the bed was made, the laundry was done, the trash was taken out, the glider was assembled, and he was (and still is) outside, not only vacuuming, but steam cleaning the car to make sure it is sanitized and ready for our baby girl to ride in. Brielle and I are the luckiest ladies. I can hardly wait to see my amazing husband become the most incredible dad. 

Good Morning, Brielle.

Good morning, Brielle.
      It's February, which means you could very well be in our arms by the time this month ends. Judging by the way you made me feel last night, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm so ready to meet you. Your dad is bubbling with joy. Big brother Gatsby is enjoying his last days using my belly as his pillow. Every night after we pray we talk about you and wonder what you'll be. It goes without saying that your eyes will squint when you smile, but everything about you remains a mystery. And it's still a mystery why God granted us a miracle as great as you. We will never be worthy. But we accept that mystery and your miraculous life. Carrying you has been an honor, and I will soak up these last few weeks as you wiggle and grow inside of me. We love you.