Wednesday, September 26, 2012

sugar & spice & everything nice.

Anybody who knows me knows my borderline unhealthy obsession with little boys. They're gross and weird and mischievous and everything else good. I grew up with four baby brothers, and even though I prayed for a sister during each pregnancy, after a while I grew to love army men, baseball, and bloody knuckles. Boys are simple and easy and fun.
Girls are unknown territory. I spend a decent amount of time around my baby girl cousins and niece, and they are the prettiest and sweetest things I've ever known. However, instead of asking me to pick them up and slam them on the couch, they want to play mommy and baby. When I make fun of them for having boogers hanging from their nose, they get their feelings hurt instead of laughing and wiping it off with their forearm. It's not that I like little boys more, it's just that little girls scare the crap out of me. They are so delicate and fragile and....well... sassy.
As I've documented on this blog, I had a feeling we were having a girl from pretty early on in the pregnancy. I don't know if it was the dreams, the sudden love for chocolate, or simply the fact that I'm about due for a girl in my life. Either way, I began mentally preparing myself for the possibility of having a daughter. The more I pictured it, the more comfortable I became. I mean, I'm all about ballet, and cute clothes and The Sound of Music. Seems easy enough.
Last weekend at our gender reveal party (which was so fun!) my heart stopped when I saw those baby pink balloons flying out of the cardboard box. I don't know why I was so shocked. I thought it was a girl all along. But all of a sudden, it hit me. We are going to have a little girl. A daughter. DAUGHTER. Jake and I were talking the other night before bed about how heavy that word suddenly seems. I don't even want to attempt to listen to John Mayer right now.
Now, even though I am still obsessed with stinky little boys, I can honestly say that I couldn't be more excited. Seeing the amount of love my husband already has for our precious baby girl is amazing. I know he would have been excited for a boy, but there is something about this girl that has him in a frenzy. It was precious to see how excited he was to show everybody that she looks like me, and how quickly he set her picture as his phone's wall paper. It's so fun to listen to his plans of taking her to The Nutcracker and introducing her to our favorite musicals. It will be fun to someday (if God's willing) watch Jake and our son playing catch in the front yard, but for now, I can't wait to see how well he will love our girl. Over the years of our relationship, we have, of course, had hard times and in our early years I would wonder if we would really make it through, but one thing I have NEVER questioned is Jake's unconditional love for me. I can't wait for him to show that to her, and I know he will be the best dad to a daughter.
We are naming our girl Brielle. It means 'God is my might.' We fell in love with the name over a year ago now, and after the circumstances early in the pregnancy, we decided that nothing would fit more perfectly. Leading up to the gender reveal, we flip flopped on boy names, but Brielle was always Brielle.
I can't wait to meet her. I can't wait to hear her cry and see all of those alien like images from her ultrasounds come to life. Jake and I always talk about how we just want to know everything about her. Will she love yellow and Audrey? Will she have my big mouth or Jake's sharp mind? Both? Oh gosh. She will obviously love to eat and ride the tube at Shaver, but everything else is so unknown and exciting. Is it February yet?
Until Brielle is here for us to snuggle and kiss and love, we will just continue to pray for and dream of this sweet miracle girl. God has already blessed her more than she will ever comprehend and I am so excited to see the plans He has for her. I pray she always knows how much she's loved and that God will always be her might.

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