22 weeks

How far along? 22  

Baby is the size of: Papaya! Broke the 1 pound mark this week. Big girl! :) 

Total weight gain: Probably 14...or 15 if I factor in all the Halloween candy I consumed last night.   
Maternity clothes? Oh yah. Nothing new though. I need to make a trip to stock up soon.       
Stretch marks?   Nope, but my belly has been so stinkin itchy lately. Yikes.  
Sleep: Pretty well! The cold(er) weather and our snuggly bed is making it harder and harder to wake up in the morning.   
Best moment this week: Halloween candy? haha I've never consumed that much in my life. I just literally couldn't stop. It was also fun painting the bump! Costumes are mine and Jake's thing, but we have about 2,000 other things going on this year and got lazy and decided not to dress up. BUUTTT I just couldn't NOT do sommeeetttthing festive. 
Miss Anything? Being able to breathe while walking up stairs. So embarrassing to wheeze my way up in front of a mob of high school students.      
Movement: All the time. We are feeling (and seeing) more and more flips and wiggles instead of just kicks and punches. I love it so much.     
Food cravings: CANDY! and In n Out. My sweet husband was going to drive me 20 minutes to get it the other night, but then got sick and couldn't. I've been thinking about it ever since.  
Anything making you queasy or sick: Besides too much candy? Nope!   
Gender: A little lady!    
Labor Signs: No, obvi. 
Symptoms: Headaches! And the round ligament pain is back.  
Belly Button in or out? in, but omg it's getting shallow lol 
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! 
Looking forward to: THANKSGIVING!!! Guys, it's bad. I literally sit and think about Thanksgiving dinner every.single.day!  Plus I get to wear pants that expand with me! Score. 

Back Home

     I have the day off today, so earlier this morning I was in the bathroom leisurely putting on my makeup and listening to iTunes. I hate getting ready more than anything, but on days like today I am at peace and calm. I like taking my time, and sipping on tea, and scratching Gatsby's belly with my toes as he lays at my feet. I was applying mascara of all things when Back Home by JJ Heller started to play.  I froze, the mascara wand still in my hand, and immediately began to cry. Now, I am pregnant, and could definitely use that as an excuse for my uncontrollable emotions, but that wasn't the cause this time.
     As JJ sang the first line of that beautiful song, my head and heart were transported back to a moment I don't think I will ever forget. It was 3 1/2 months ago, and Jake and I were in the car on our way to San Diego. A week earlier we had been told that I had miscarried the baby we were so excited to bring into the world. A week earlier I received a D&C. That horrible, horrible week had been filled with tears, anger, confusion, and emptiness. I felt so drained and pitiful, and was beyond ready to get away for the week and spend some quality time with my husband. It was a long trip, and neither of us felt much like talking, so the previous 2 hours of driving down I-5 had been spent listening to our favorites: Coldplay, Phil Wickham, and then JJ Heller. I had listened to her Painted Red album often, but as soon as track 4 began to play, I felt like all of the oxygen had been sucked out of my body. I continued to sit silently, listening to each word, with tears literally streaming down my face. My sunglasses were on and I tried so hard not to let Jake see my reaction. The week had been equally hard for both of us, and I didn't want him to have to deal with one more of my emotional break downs. Either I wasn't doing a good enough job, or he instinctively knew, but as soon as she started singing the chorus, he grabbed my hand. It was all too much. The sadness, the guitar, the beautiful words that spoke directly to my broken heart, the love of my husband, the love of my God.
     I gave in to the lump in my throat, and really cried, not worrying about what the woman in the next car thought of me. I finally accepted it all. Yes, this was a bad time in our lives. No, we don't know why it happened. Yes, I was perplexed. No, I was not in despair. Yes, I was struck down. No, I was not destroyed. I accepted the song's message. I would not get used to sadness. I would put my hope in what is true. My God did not leave me. He loved me. He was carrying me. He wanted me back home.
     As we continued to drive, I had no idea that in three days I would be sitting in an ER, 5 hours away from home, finding out that our precious baby had been protected by God and was alive with a heartbeat inside of my womb. I had absolutely no idea just how bright the sun would be shining on me.
     So this morning, with my growing belly pressed up against the bathroom counter, as I thoughtlessly applied my mascara, that beautiful song had a whole new meaning. God's promises are true. They are real, and meaningful, and amazingly fulfilling. Even if our trip to San Diego had not ended up the way it had, I would have been ok. I would have been healing, and maybe even pregnant again at this point. But that's not the plan God had for me or our precious daughter Brielle. I would have known no different, but now instead, I am fully aware of the overwhelming power of God and his promises. Whatever may come, and however the wind may blow, I know more than ever how faithful the Son is.

20 weeks.

I'm not fully sideways in this one, but you get the idea...the belly is bigger lol

How far along? 20 and a half!.....actually 2 days shy of 21. I'm horrible at this.  

Baby is the size of: A small cantaloupe. Holy crap. 

Total weight gain: I'm estimating 12. I really need a scale though.  
Maternity clothes? A couple of new maternity shirts, and I bought some more non maternity cardigans yesterday (like I needed any) that will hopefully make my few maternity clothes go farther.      
Stretch marks?   Negative. I'm still rubbing on that cream, though! 
Sleep: Pretty well! The freaky pregnancy dreams are creeping their way back, though.  
Best moment this week: It was actually last week, but hearing that our anomaly scan came back perfectly! Baby girl is healthy as can be and growing right on track. My doctor referred me out to get one done since I am still being called high risk because of everything that happened in the early pregnancy. I was anxious to get the results back, so it was a huge relief to hear that everything looks great. 
Miss Anything? Nope. I got some non raw sushi yesterday, and that satisfied my craving. I am still looking forward to some nice raw stuff post pregnancy, but it did the trick for now :)     
Movement: Omg yes. Alllllll the time. Almost everybody has been able to feel her at this point. Wild girl.    
Food cravings: Can't think of anything new or specific. Pretty much everything sounds good haha  
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope! I had a super easy first trimester, but even I can appreciate how easy the second is.   
Gender: Confirmed she is still a girl at the scan lol   
Labor Signs: No, obvi. 
Symptoms: My skin is still being a brat, but nothing much. I truly love being pregnant so far. Even if it is requiring a little extra concealer. 
Belly Button in or out? in, but omg it's getting shallow lol 
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Pretty happy. We have had a very exciting week. Everything seems to be falling into place. All of this, plus the weather change and some fun quality time together has made Jakey and I pretty happy recently. 
Looking forward to: Our appointment on Thursday. Since my insurance covers it, my doctor is going to do another ultrasound then. I love getting to see our sweet girl this often. 

18 weeks

How far along? 18 and a half! 

Baby is the size of: A large mango...which sounds so freaking good. 

Total weight gain: Haven't checked since my appointment last week, but I'm guessing 10. I think I'm averaging about a pound a week. 
Maternity clothes? Nothing new. I wore two of my maternity shirts this week to work and am needing some more because my regular ones are getting a little short in the front lol     
Stretch marks?   Negative. I'm still rubbing on that cream, though! 
Sleep: Wonderfully! Finally accepting that 4am pee wake ups are a part of my life now. 
Best moment this week: Our 4d ultrasound/ gender reveal party! I am so thankful that our parents, siblings, and grandparents got to see the baby, and it was so amazing to have all of our closest friends and family together at the party. Too much fun! 
Miss Anything? Nothing new! No desire for alcohol anymore, thank God.     
Movement: Yes! YES YES YES!!! These aren't any flutterings or butterflies either. I'm talking straight up battements and round house kicks. I felt them during 5th period on Monday, and could even feel them from the outside, but I just assumed it was because I knew they were happening. Then after school I was choreographing and they started. I told Rhea, and she felt my tummy, not thinking she would actually be able to feel it, but she totally did! Now we have to just get Jake to, but a certain little baby gets shy every time he tries to feel. It is so exciting, though. It's happening A LOT, and every time it does it catches me off guard.   
Food cravings: Still spicy! Also chocolate milkshakes. Specifically from Campus.  
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really. YAY!  
Gender: GIRL!!! Ah. I can't believe my dreams and instincts were right! We so excited for our beautiful Brielle to get here, with a wardrobe that is already almost as big as mine....and I haven't bought one thing yet. SPOILED!  
Labor Signs: No, obvi. 
Symptoms: Acne is slowly taking a chill pill. Other than that, not really! Minus the fact that I'm growing every day lol  
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: MOOOODDDY. Oops. Everything is just annoying the crap out of me. So sorry in advanced if I'm a brat to you for no apparent reason. I'm hoping it was just a bad week. 
Looking forward to: Our 20 (well 19) week scan on Tuesday. I love getting to see her this often. 

sugar & spice & everything nice.

Anybody who knows me knows my borderline unhealthy obsession with little boys. They're gross and weird and mischievous and everything else good. I grew up with four baby brothers, and even though I prayed for a sister during each pregnancy, after a while I grew to love army men, baseball, and bloody knuckles. Boys are simple and easy and fun.
Girls are unknown territory. I spend a decent amount of time around my baby girl cousins and niece, and they are the prettiest and sweetest things I've ever known. However, instead of asking me to pick them up and slam them on the couch, they want to play mommy and baby. When I make fun of them for having boogers hanging from their nose, they get their feelings hurt instead of laughing and wiping it off with their forearm. It's not that I like little boys more, it's just that little girls scare the crap out of me. They are so delicate and fragile and....well... sassy.
As I've documented on this blog, I had a feeling we were having a girl from pretty early on in the pregnancy. I don't know if it was the dreams, the sudden love for chocolate, or simply the fact that I'm about due for a girl in my life. Either way, I began mentally preparing myself for the possibility of having a daughter. The more I pictured it, the more comfortable I became. I mean, I'm all about ballet, and cute clothes and The Sound of Music. Seems easy enough.
Last weekend at our gender reveal party (which was so fun!) my heart stopped when I saw those baby pink balloons flying out of the cardboard box. I don't know why I was so shocked. I thought it was a girl all along. But all of a sudden, it hit me. We are going to have a little girl. A daughter. DAUGHTER. Jake and I were talking the other night before bed about how heavy that word suddenly seems. I don't even want to attempt to listen to John Mayer right now.
Now, even though I am still obsessed with stinky little boys, I can honestly say that I couldn't be more excited. Seeing the amount of love my husband already has for our precious baby girl is amazing. I know he would have been excited for a boy, but there is something about this girl that has him in a frenzy. It was precious to see how excited he was to show everybody that she looks like me, and how quickly he set her picture as his phone's wall paper. It's so fun to listen to his plans of taking her to The Nutcracker and introducing her to our favorite musicals. It will be fun to someday (if God's willing) watch Jake and our son playing catch in the front yard, but for now, I can't wait to see how well he will love our girl. Over the years of our relationship, we have, of course, had hard times and in our early years I would wonder if we would really make it through, but one thing I have NEVER questioned is Jake's unconditional love for me. I can't wait for him to show that to her, and I know he will be the best dad to a daughter.
We are naming our girl Brielle. It means 'God is my might.' We fell in love with the name over a year ago now, and after the circumstances early in the pregnancy, we decided that nothing would fit more perfectly. Leading up to the gender reveal, we flip flopped on boy names, but Brielle was always Brielle.
I can't wait to meet her. I can't wait to hear her cry and see all of those alien like images from her ultrasounds come to life. Jake and I always talk about how we just want to know everything about her. Will she love yellow and Audrey? Will she have my big mouth or Jake's sharp mind? Both? Oh gosh. She will obviously love to eat and ride the tube at Shaver, but everything else is so unknown and exciting. Is it February yet?
Until Brielle is here for us to snuggle and kiss and love, we will just continue to pray for and dream of this sweet miracle girl. God has already blessed her more than she will ever comprehend and I am so excited to see the plans He has for her. I pray she always knows how much she's loved and that God will always be her might.

17 weeks

                           

                                                  

How far along? 17 and a half! 

Baby is the size of: A sweet potato 

Total weight gain: 9 lbs!
Maternity clothes? Pretty much the same stuff. I went back to just using a rubber band on my pants, though because it is WAY to hot to have an extra layer of fabric on my belly.    
Stretch marks?   Negative. I'm still rubbing on that cream, though! 
Sleep: Really well recently. Waking up only once to pee, and finally don't feel like I'm sweating to death. Last night I woke up with a weird Charlie Horse on my side/back, though. I had to get up and stretch to stop it.  
Best moment this week: Going to the doctor and hearing the heartbeat! Last month I stressed myself out between appointments. A month is just so long to go without checking on the little booger. 
Miss Anything? The craving for sushi came in full force. The other day I searched #sushi on Instagram and just fantasized over the pictures. #desperate. Also choreographing and teaching dances makes me miss being able to move properly lol It was hard to try to teach a leap when I physically can't do one at the moment.    
Movement: I don't know!! Definitely either the baby or gas.   
Food cravings: SPICY!!! I can't get enough spicy!! 
Anything making you queasy or sick: Gatsby's dog food. gag. 
Gender: I just keep flip flopping!!! 
Labor Signs: No, obvi. 
Symptoms: The acne is still out.of.con.trol. and I'm more hungry than even. Hence the 9 lbs. 
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Pretty happy! Even though I did just have a meltdown because I couldn't find my black cami. 
Looking forward to: Our gender reveal party on Saturday!!! People: Two days and we will know!!! AHHHH!!!!!  

15 weeks

How far along? 15 and a half! 

Baby is the size of: A navel orange!  

Total weight gain: I'm guessing 5 or 6? I need a good scale. 
Maternity clothes? Yes! I got two pairs of maternity skinny jeans last weekend. Best things ever. And so cheap!! I also got a maternity shirt, but it's too hot to wear it yet.   
Stretch marks?   Negative. I'm still rubbing on that cream, though! 
Sleep: Not the best. My snoogle (Jake and I call it my boyfriend) is still fabulous, but I've been getting up to pee every night at 3 and then have had a cold/sinus issues which makes breathing a bit difficult. 
Best moment this week: Two weekends ago we shared baby Yeager's story at our church, which was fun. It's always awesome to testify to how great our God truly is. Last weekend Jake and I had lunch with my stepmom and two littlest brothers. They had fun rubbing my belly and guessing whether they are getting a niece or nephew. 
Miss Anything? The alcohol cravings are subsiding. Thank God. But I really miss bleu cheese now :(    
Movement: The other night I felt butterfly-ish movements in my tummy, but I'm not sure if it was baby or not. Haven't felt them since. Looking forward to those squirms though!  
Food cravings: Fruit (as always). I'm dreading the end of summer and the fact that all these precious, juicy, delicious fruits will be taken away from me. Also spicy things! Salsa, spicy asian food, and buffalo wings. So weird. 
Anything making you queasy or sick: mostly frothy toothpaste still. bleh.  
Gender: Had ANOTHER girl dream, and Jake had his first girl dream, but I'm still going back and forth. we will know soooooon!  
Labor Signs: No, obvi. 
Symptoms: I can't believe I hadn't mentioned this before: ACNE! Omg. I have always less than perfect skin anyways, but now it's everywhere. I hate it. Also getting some round ligament pain. Especially after dancing.   
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: A little more moody lately. And when I say moody, I mean primarily to Jake. Poor poor boy.   
Looking forward to:  the weekend!